During New Student Orientation at Denver Seminary last fall,
a student panel fielded questions about their seminary experience. One of them
shared how he started out in the M.Div. program but switched to M.A. because of
the difficulty of the Hebrew and Greek language requirements.
This evoked an unguarded response from another panel member about
not taking the easy road and the importance of trusting God more. The flush of
anger and embarrassment on the first guy had all the potential of a Jerry
Springer episode—DenSem Smack-Down.
It didn’t take long to see that this mindset was not
uncommon. The M.Div’ers can be viewed by some as the academic heavyweights—The Bold,
Strong, Risk-Taking, Faith-filled Tri-lingual Ones. If you “switch up”, people
are generally impressed. Going the opposite direction will often get you a look of
sympathy.
I was an M.A.’er. It
was a significant component to one of my many “nevers”, as in, “Fine, God: I’ll
go to seminary but I’ll never be an M.Div’er.” A six-month long pursuit of
Chaplain Candidacy with the Army National Guard last semester required I switch
programs and enroll full-time at the seminary. I’d switch to serve my country
and to help young soldiers find God through their painful experiences, but that
was it. Besides, I knew it was a long shot as I’m twelve years too old for
military service. I made it further in the process than I expected, approved at
the state level but eventually turned down by the National Guard Bureau in D.C.
The plan was to switch back to M.A. for several reasons: no
financial assistance to pay for the difference in credit hours, no aspirations
for church senior leadership and certainly no eagerness to put myself through
the ancient language meat grinder. But for unexplainable reasons, I held on to
the Degree Change papers for several weeks and couldn’t bring myself to fill it
out and turn it in. At the risk of over-spiritualizing the chaplaincy scenario,
it seems to be the means God used to lure me to the M.Div. Once I resolved to
stay in, the peace I experienced was undeniable. At this point, I’m unaware what
the “end game” is other than obedience. It’s where I’m supposed to be and, for
now, it has to be enough.
After almost two months of Hebrew, including a
two-and-a-half hour midterm three days ago, I understand the fears. It is the
most challenging, frustrating, mentally arduous, physically and emotionally draining
thing I have ever done. Only going to Wal-Mart is a close second. Unlike Wal-Mart,
however, it’s also one of the most beautiful, meaningful and worshipful
disciplines I’ve ever engaged. After my first class, I signed up for a
three-week academic trip to Israel this summer through Denver Seminary and
Jerusalem University College. Soon I'll walk where Jesus walked.
I ask myself out loud sometimes: “Raul, do you know what
you’re doing?” No, but yes. I’m following Jesus. That’s what I’m doing.