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Sunday, April 19, 2015

Holy Interruptibility

I think I've learned the secret of spiritual discipline: go to seminary, make it an assignment and get a grade for it. Expensive but effective.
The prospect of a paper due in a few weeks has been a daily source of irritation, like the kid in school who entertained himself by using his foot like a shoe horn and stepping on my heel while I was walking. I'd approach my current problem the same way but you can't punch a paper. 
The subject matter has irritated me for the same reason I've been irritated for two semesters over what I read or write on this whole business of Christian formation. Now I'm supposed to identify a vice or fruit of the Spirit, address it over the next four weeks and write about how I approached it. The goal is not to fix anything it but to intentionally engage it. I'll do it for the next three weeks because it turns out there are some things even a grade won't fix. In reality, I "know" grace and cooperation aren't at odds with each other, but there's an ever-present fear in me of turning into a greasy, judgmental, burned-out, self-righteous ass. 
On Tuesday I finally decided on the idea of "holy interruptibility" after watching how my professor responded to me when I came into his office to discuss the assignment. He was doing something on his computer but the moment I walked in, I was the most important thing on his agenda. 
I want to live with an openness, an attentiveness to what God might be up to in any given moment. I want to stop looking at my stupid phone every five minutes, lift my head up and actually be aware of what, or who, is going on around me. I want to make people feel like, at that moment, they're the most important thing on my agenda. 
So, here I go...